Weeding 101

Step One: Procrastinate and wait for the weeds to get a little out of hand.
Step Two: Begrudgingly allow your mother in law to visit for an hour.
Step Three: Actually hear at least one thing that comes out of her pea brain.
Step Four: Try not to slam the door as you hurl yourself through it.
Step Five: Take out your frustration by doing the weeding.

And there you have it! You can clear a 10 x 4 foot section in the time it takes to smoke a quarter of a cigarette! (About three minutes)

I give up

My best friend lost a baby. I cried all day for her. I gave her time to get a hold of me, because I wasn't included in the texts that everyone else she loves got. I spent the time since then sending a random text here or there, that I got no response from. In fact the only one I heard anything about was this morning as a blog title. Telling me all about people who say that not really giving a shit. No I didn't keep texting her after the lack of response, but I've spent days trying to find someone to go to her house to take her food. I guess I should have told her that, because right now I'm just an asshole.

I can't win for losing

For three days now, I have been embroiled in the life of a stray Scottish Fold. Two nights ago he was found on the side of my neighbors house declawed and hungry. I fed him I stayed up all night to make sure he wasn't attacked by an oppossum or raccoon. I called every animal place I could find on the planet. I found a lady who said he needed some testing before she could take him. Inadvertently yesterday I was talking with my neighbor in the post office when the postal worker overheard. She told us of a lady named Gretchen who could help. We found her and she said she could take him. We were jubilant at the fact that he wouldn't have to sleep outside again, and maybe I could get some sleep. I sent the first woman an email in my excitement. Today I woke up to a scathing email about my being inhumane to animals. He had to sleep in a carrier overnight in someones garage, and would have been so much better off in the bushes for another night. I beg to differ. I think whilst he may have been uncomfortable last night, he was not going to be attacked by something that he could not defend himself against. I don't know, I guess I'm just an asshole. *sigh*

Mike Check

Wow, ages since this thing, I've touched. I think my last blog was for Allison's birthday. Today it isn't going to be a super long one, but informative, at least. Mikey was getting out of control on this box. There was much passionate, creative, indoor voice using, "discussions", after baby bedtime. In the end I have a little more time to blog. This would have been longer, but apparently that time is not now, because Phoenix seems to be annoying Mike in some way that he cannot handle himself.

Really?

So today was the umpteenth time that I was scheduled to have a Glucose Tolerance Test in the past 9 years. Guess what happened. I got five sticks and only a regular old blood test. I fasted for nothing AGAIN! I have yet to have one of these things scheduled, and actually get it done. This time the reasoning is that my doctor thinks that my kidneys seem to be causing more of an issue. I just thought it would be possible to get the kidney blood with the first tube, get the crap to drink and continue on. Simple, simple. Nope. I am psychic I tell you, I can see at least two more fasts in my future. Blechttt!!!

Another miracle weather phenomenon please

I often wish for weather changes when there is something in my future that otherwise couldn't be avoided. It rained like mad and we had a mini tornado when I didn't want to go on a picnic with the mother-in-law last summer. In December we had two weeks of snow, (thank you GOD), when I didn't want to face the planet. Now, Satan and her parents might be coming over today. I am mildly displeased, as last weekend I was told I wouldn't have to deal with her antics anymore. I've also just recently realized who her mother is, and let's just say, I'm not the biggest fan anymore. So now, I don't want to "rock the boat". Well, maybe not that much anyway. See the weeks been rough, haven't had a break since before last weekend. Somewhere in the melee, Evil Lynn made a reappearance. This is my house, deal with it.
So if it would just snow, this could all just not happen. Talk about an admission of lack of will power. Yep, I haven't the faintest hope that if that pompous little pea brain does one "I-didn't-mean-to-hurt/scare- him", I will be able to control myself.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

I can't Breath

Sometime during the conversation my brain began buzzing. At least I think so. I do believe it was the addled gears beginning to fry. Yesterday it was Sunday, but today is Friday, how'd that happen. Less and less time to do anything. And once again, Phoenix just noticed what I was doing, and began his shit. I guess it is tomorrow that I will be trying to get the post that is eating my brain, typed.

Blah!

Shopping sucks!


The end.

Again?

Today I am writing, or trying to write, my Christmas cards. They will in no way be as awesome as my best friend's, (otherwise known as the Christmas Card Guru), but they will be heart felt. Things have been more than hectic. The brother, the dad, the in-laws, Thanksgiving, the creepy older man, money, and trying to keep from smoking. Whew, that is a lot of things to think about constantly along with the rest of the day's normal thinking. I need an emotional nap.

Crap, what do I do now?

Anybody who knows me, knows that I am not one for being touched just because. And that goes doubly for people I do not know. So the other day when I was walking home from the store and a man in front of the old folks apartments on the corner stepped out into my path I was a little off put, but it gets worse. This man has waved or whatever from a distance a few times. Once he asked me what I was listening to. A few months ago I commented to Mike that he kind of gives me the heeeby jeebies, but that seemed to be the scope of it. I was wrong. So, he is now in between home and me, and very in my personal space. He's making polite conversation, but he's so close that I can smell his breath, and I am frightened. I tell him I need to get home to my son and his father. He reached up and grabbed my face with this lecherous look on his face and said "you want a ride?", in that voice that makes your skin crawl. On one hand, as I type this I kind of feel stupid. Like people will think it's no big deal. But I don't care. Honestly even if there weren't things in my past that might condition me to be more wary of things, I still think this would have creeped me out.
Anyway here we are three days or so later, and I just got back from sprinting past the building on my way home from the store. I could force Mike to go to the store, but it's my one little bit of outside exercise I get a day. And I'm a little pissed that I am now scared to walk down the street in broad day light. Now I want to move all the sooner, and I have debated on changed my route to a much longer one to go to the store. Am I wrong for being upset/scared?

When it rains...it fucking hails.

The posts have been a bit sparse these days. That is do to an unpredicted storm in the parental/sibling area. Plus some unexpected weirdo yesterday, (another post). As it stands right now. My drug addled brother made an appearance. My mother is spent, my father is destroyed, my brother has gone back to whatever rock he crawled out from under, and I have aged 10 years.

Par for the course

Yesterday started with the realization that I only had three eggs, no mustard, and one dryer sheet. *Sigh* I cooked one of the eggs, and of course Phoenix decided he didn't like eggs today. Joy. I talk to my BFF for what is never enough time... we both have very willful toddlers. *Smile* I inevitably unload more of my current inner turmoil than I wanted to, and today feel guilty about that. *Sigh* I'll do better tonight... if she calls. I wouldn't blame her if she needed a break from me. But I digress, back to Craptastic Sunday. Phoenix refuses lunch and is sent to his nap, screeches rivaling a howler monkey. I get in some more BFF phone time, and do some character leveling on Final Fantasy while getting an hour in on the exercise ball. Endorphins my ass. I do not feel better. In fact, I'm not sure what you do with this thing besides bounce. Oh well, at least the heart rate is up. Phoenix wakes up in a less than stellar mood and is immediately sent back to his room for assaulting his mother with a kick to the shin. He throws things, screams things like "why" and "noooooo". Punctuating this mammoth tantrum with a horrid guttural noise that he picked up from an eight year old menace. Terrible twos suck ass! The foray into holy terror lasts for forty five minutes, no joke. I wish I was exaggerating. Now I need to drag the garbage can up the hill. So I unlock the door and then nearly pull my arm out of socket when it refuses to budge. What now? Apparently the doorknob is broken. Enter "manly man" who practically shoves the "little lady" aside to fix the problem. *Grrrrr* Um, who was on HER way to take care of the garbage? I'm just saying. An hour later Phoenix is banished to bed. Oh yeah, he refused his dinner too. Full on melt down. Any way the door eventually has to be pulled off the hinges. It's Fifty degrees outside. Brilliant. When it does come off, the inner workings of the doorknob disintegrate and fall to the ground like a bag of candy. Crap. So at 7:30 p.m. Mike's dad is here with a new doorknob and a receipt for the landlord. Awesome. An hour later I have a new doorknob, a child who is still not asleep, and a headache. But I've logged another hour on the exercise ball. For what is I think the first time in my life, I am looking forward to Monday.

The end of day 2

Okay so technically I am at the beginning of my 3rd smoke free day. Unfortunately I feel like I am at the end of a very long second day. The first day I was crappy and exhausted. The second day I was crappier and more tired. So imagine my surprise when I could not catch 5 winks let alone 40. At 2:00 a.m. I was in horrible stomach pain, but I thought, it will pass and I'll still get at least four hours. Nope, do not pass GO, do not collect two hundred dollars. The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:38 a.m., the funny thing is that I was surprised at this. I throw myself back down into my mountain of pillows and contemplate on whether I should just get up and get a head start on the overnight dish appearances. Wouldn't you know it, I fall asleep...for a split second. No sooner had I closed my eyes, (or so it felt like), did I hear hey mom...Momma, breakfaaaaast! Momma get up! Yeah, that was at 7:18 a.m. Forty minutes, forty blasted minutes, and now even though I had a perfectly good post formed in my head for this morning, this is all I could get out. All I can even think about it sleep. I love sleeping. Why is it that people who love sleep so much, often have a hard time doing it?

The sickies...I hate them

Okay I swear I am being tested. Last week it was some kind of weird head cold, which I don't think I'd ever really experienced before. Well, the baby feels better, Mike feels better..and I feel like death warmed over. I no longer have a head cold, but for the first time in my adult life, I am running a fever. Which in itself weirds me out, but added to the horrible stomach issues that are accompanying it, just plain out sucks. Unfortunately at this time, my O.C.D. seems to be in full on overdrive. Arguably there are many people who have been to my house and would say it's never "not clean", I beg to differ. I mean I already do some strange things like use an electric toothbrush to clean in the bathroom. Which, by the way, I have to say I thought that was a good idea regardless of O.C.D.. But even though all I wanted to do was lay on the couch yesterday in a sweat shirt and a blanket, (by the way Mike tells me it was 85 degrees out), I kept thinking of things that absolutely, positively HAD to be done yesterday. Bleaching the blinds, bleaching the floor, organizing parkas to donate, cleaning under my bed, organizing the four tubs of sort of random in the laundry room, trying to find someone to take my stroller, and pack n play, going through Phoenix's clothes, resolving the carpet, shining the door knobs, making a list of said things, and a myriad of crap that can probably wait. Oh yeah, and I am still failing miserably at quitting smoking, ( I can't wait for my white strips,lol).
I am also trying to decide if I am just Über sensitive, or Mike is really a dolt. I guess I have to remember that he is at a disadvantage as he is equipped with a penis. But seriously I know other Not-better-halves that at least try to help out when mom isn't doing so hot. By the way guys, saying "I'll do the dishes in a while" seventeen times and then getting faux pissy when she ends up doing them because she can't stand to see the damn things piling out of the sink and on to the counter, is not a good thing. In fact, don't be surprised if her head spins off. And for fucks sake, don't bitch about getting 4 hours of sleep ONE TIME in your fucking life. Especially when she is trying not to vomit up an intestine and has just stayed up an hour later than normal because she doesn't want to deal with your whining when she says "I'm going to bed" at the same time she says it every night because HELLO she gets up every day with your child. Oh yeah here's a newsflash, why don't you offer to get up with him for once. Just a thought, but maybe one day of you being a fucking grown up with your baby would help tremendously with the recouperating. Douche face.
The end.

Huh?

Yesterday I had to walk down to the store and lo and behold there were city workers tearing up the sidewalk. In any other town I would think nothing of it. Except I'm in Kalama. I've lived here for one year now, and they are either really bored, or they are grinding up tourists bones and don't know what else to do with the dust except make cement. When I was moving in they had the whole sidewalk dug up and repoured. A month later they completely demolished the street and repaved. A month after that, they said the parking space lines weren't up to snuff, so they repainted. No big deal right? Only about a month after that, they ripped up the pavement again and redid the entire street. They took a little break, and then started at it again. They ripped the whole sidewalk up again about four months ago. Complete with ripping out all the trees on mainstreet. Including Twenty thousand dollars worth in front of a privately owned restaurant. The owner of said restaraunt had just paid to put them in. Kalama city officials said they don't fit with the "beautification" of downtown Kalama. Okay they finally get done doing that while I'm in California, so about the end of July. Then Mike calls me while I'm there and says, "you'll never guess what they are doing now". It's ten o'clock at night, what could they be doing? They apparently spent all night repaving the street AGAIN. Now it's September and they are ripping up the damn sidewalk for a third time in a year. Are you serious? Does any body else think this is a gross misuse of tax payer money? I mean if they have that much extra money laying around, maybe they could invest in some "interacting with outsiders" classes for the locals. Oh but wait, the sidewalk is perpetually repaved because people like me pay $250 dollars a month for water, sewer, and garbage. *Sigh* this place blows. But, it's also a black whole. Once you move here, it's too expensive to save up to move away.

I give up already

There is no use for mommy to try to be sick. I know what you're thinking, try to be sick? That's exactly what I've been doing for the past two days. Phoenix started on Wednesday and by Thursday Mom and Dad had it too. Unfortunately for mom only in the world of Daddy does that mean anything. Lay on the couch, play on the computer, make me watch shyte on the fucking military channel. You name it, it's okay because well he doesn't feel good. For Phoenix it makes it more tolerable for him to decide to be whiny and stay up a little later to wait for his medicine time.
But for mom, there is no rest for the weary. If I try and not do my job, the house falls apart. Nobody eats, the dishes pile up, and let's not talk about the laundry. I tried to not worry about those things, but it didn't work. I tried Nyquil for a few nights, but that doesn't really work when you have TWO children waking you up all night. So I forfeit. Because it doesn't really matter how I feel, the show must go on. That is the saying right? The first load of laundry is in, the coffee is on, Phoenix has already refused his breakfast, I've already cried, and I'm about to do the dishes that appeared over night in the sink.