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The Cheap mood ring glinted in the sun. It reminded her of how she had left the "real one" on the back of her car. At that gas station in Modesto, all those years ago. She thought about where she was then, and where she was headed. She could almost feel the heat from that August day. Called in sick to work, going to a friends show a little farther north. She had felt a kind of bad about it. Ah, but she was young, and youth won out over responsibility as it is sometimes wont to do.
It was a sunny day. Not just any sunny day. Bright and exuberant each and every ray of sun. The kind of day that makes you feel like anything is possible. It was the kind of day where you just wake up tasting the surf. Not a good day to be wasted in some cubicle.
There she was filling up and singing along "spill the wine...", a little too loud, and a little too lively for a gas station on the middle of a Tuesday. She took no notice of it, and she was better for it. Off she sped into the California sun without a care in the world. Enjoying what would be one of her last salad days.

Here's to hoping there is light...

at the end of the tunnel, that is. I feel like it's been ages since I posted last. Whilst life has yet to slow down for me, I am trying to find more time to sit and write. Working on a new foray into poetry. Hopefully displayed on WUF soon. More mental wandering to come soon.

And so here we are again.

Okay so I've made it back from California. Broken and confused as ever. I find myself these days wanting to find a hole to crawl in and hide. The constant feeling that people that I care about are judging me. Or that their comments about everybody's bad behavior, are actually disguised comments about myself. I just want to run away.

I almost forgot

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. SUESS!

Tangents

This morning while I was making a pancake I started thinking about the day ahead. Mike has a doctor's appointment at 2:00p.m. Okay got it, his dad's going to be here at 12:45. Oh crap, I need to pin him down to a day to take me to my blood test. Oh shit, I have to try and remember to fast for the 11,467th time. Mmmm, I feel like pork chops for dinner. I wonder if Mike will let me have a pig when we move to Oregon. Ooohh, he already said I can have a cow. I can make butter and drinkable milk and cream! Damn it, I need unsweetened butter. "What's that son, more fruit?" I love fruit, we should have some fruit trees too. I wonder what grows well in Oregon, oh wait there's the greenhouse. Mike wants lemon trees. Allison's allergic to citrus, that's why the citronella candles are still outside. Hey, they could visit! Ooohh they might move to Northern California, then I might actually try and open my bakery. Mmmm, cookies. I heart cookies.
This is the way my brain is going, almost constantly. This is what my friends have to try and maneuver through a conversation with. Eventually in this particular thought loop, I thought it would be funny to actually type some of it up and see what it looks like it print. Not only was it funny, but an interesting study into the needless ability to recall an earlier, seemingly random train of thought in it's entirety.

I didn't win the Lotto

It's been one crazy week! I bought a lottery ticket on a whim the other day. It was the second I'd bought in my life. With a little embarrassment and instruction from my mom, I did it!!! Yay me! The drawing was last night...dun dun dun dun...big fat zero. I got two numbers. Oh well.

Damn it!

Just when I was sitting down to do a decent post, the boy needs a diaper. Alas, I'll try again tomorrow. *tired smile*

2008 Year In Review...sorta

I got this in my regular e-mail account and I liked it enough, so here it is.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I'm told I was got my name from a Pink Floyd song

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Um, what time is it now? It's had to have been at least a couple of hours, lol

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sure

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Little Mr. Phoenix

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I would hope so.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Of course not!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Not on purpose

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? It depends, Muslix or Lucky Charms.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Others think I am, and that's what counts right?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Dreyer's Raiders Ice Cream

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their demeanor

15. RED OR PINK? Pink

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I've gotten pretty good at self-loathing on a whole thank you

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Amos

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yes

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? haha, blue and black plaid pajama pants, and black socks with red, green, and white polka-dots. Yes I know you envy my keen fashion sense.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? My pride

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Curious George

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? grey
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? The ocean, coconut
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My mommy!

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yep
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Soccer, ice hockey, UFC, boxing
27. HAIR COLOR? Brown and Red
28. EYE COLOR? Brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Cream Cheese!!! yes cream cheese, I have come to terms with it.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary movies with happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I think it was Nancy Drew

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Navy Blue

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? There is no summer here, so winter or I'd be eternally depressed
35. HUGS OR KISSES? yes please
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cookies

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Allie

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? lol, anybody else

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? lint

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT? War crap that Mike had on

42. FAVORITE SOUND? Phoenix laughing and snow falling

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? St. Robert Missouri

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Listening...hey come on, it's a talent!

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Modesto, CA

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? All of them
48. DO YOU HAVE A COLLECTION? IF SO, WHAT? PEZ dispensers, books, and sarcastic remarks I suppose.

Dear God

Dear God,
Do you think maybe just this one time I could get like a five hundred dollar windfall of some kind. I mean it would be like a one time deal. Get my head about water sort of thing. You know so I could be a little more prepared for the particularly harsh winter we seem to be having. This way, I was thinking I could by some groceries, diapers, cleaning supplies that I am out of, and maybe some underwear that don't have holes in them. *Smile* I know the answer is probably no, but I also know you probably have a sense of humor too.

Love,
Lynn

The New Year

All I really hope to accomplish in 2009 really, is to make it in tact, and accompanied by everyone I love, to New Year's Eve of 2010. I wish you all the best. Good Luck, and God Bless.

I think...

My passion is waiting for my fortitude to reach the same level.

I got tagged

...for a photo blog, unfortunately I don't have six people to tag. I do have a photo though. I was lucky enough to have a bunch on my desktop, because if I didn't I'd spend half the day trying to find one in the maze that is our computer. Mikey puts everything in a different place, and I usually give up in frustration before pictures ever get posted. The rules were to pick the sixth photo in your folder. On this I also lucked out because the sixth picture on my desktop is one Phoenix's Godmother took of him on his second birthday. She takes good pictures. Next year I think I'll pay her instead of the studio, as they don't do so hot...but that's another post. So here it is, the sixth pic on my desktop, and the seventh too because I like it too. *smile*

A-Z survey

Today I checked A's blog first, and there was a survey. I am addicted to surveys. But it's a good one, and I hadn't got today's blog fully thought out yet, so here goes some filler!


-A -
Available: Only on days that end with "y", yeah I'm a loser
Age: 28
Annoyance: Science has yet to give me a teleportation device, or Washington, or the 600 or so miles between me and home
-B -
Best feature: my heart
Beer: Yes please, oh wait, its 8:35 in the morning
Birthday: April 14
-C -
Crush: Orange, grape sucks
Car: crashed it 5 years ago
Candy: Abbazabba you're my only friend, (in Washington)
-D -
Day or night: doesn't matter, it's always dark here
Dream car: 1934 3 window coupe
Dogs or Cats: Both
-E -
Egg nog: not right now
E-mail: No one ever does
-F -
Favorite colour(s): Chrome
Favorite Band: Me First and the Gimme Gimmies
-G -
Gummy Bears or Worms: Sour patch kids
Giver or taker: Giver
-H -
Hair Color: Dark brownish red
Height: 5' 1" if measured with thick shoes on, ;)
Happy: One of my favorite dwarves
-I -
Ice Cream: gives me heart burn, but I still eat the Raider's one
Instrument: Phoenix's accordian
Idol: my brother Amos
-J -
Jewelry: Three rings, one from my mom, and two that were my grandma's
Job: domestic engineer, music maker, dreamer of dreams
Jail: not yet thank God
-K -
Kids: Phoenix
Kickboxing or karate: Mui Thai
Kindergarten: I used to practice counting at recess, I didn't have any friends
-L -
Longest Car Ride: To Missouri and back for my brother's graduation from Basic Training
-M -
Meat: I heart poultry
Most missed person: Robert Virgen
Movie Last Watched: Zoom
-N -
Number of Siblings: I have a brother
Name: apparently yesterday it was elephant, thanks son
-O -
One wish: I'd really dig that teleporter
One regret: That I can't go back
-P -
Part of your appearance you like best: yellow converse
Perfectionist: I try
-Q -
Quick or Slow: Quick to notice, too slow to catch him most of the time
Quiet or loud: loud
-R -
Reason to smile: Phoenix
Reality TV Shows: I like game shows
-S -
Song Last Heard: Superman by Five for Fighting, it was in the movie
Season: There is only one in Washington, WET
Shoes you're wearing: none
-T -
Time you woke up: I got out of bed at 7:30
Time you went to bed: I tried to sleep all night, but I went to bet at 10:45
Time Now: 8:49 a.m.
Time for bed: can't come soon enough
-U -
Unpredictable: I'm so damn unpredictable you already know it's coming *smile*
Underwear: polka dotted
-V -
Vegetable you hate: I don't do radishes
Vegetable you love: broccoli, squash, potatoes, ah I heart most of them
Vacation spot: beach
-W-
Worst habit: self deprecation
Where are you going to next: the post office
Weather: Rain
-X -
X-tra special someone: I can count them on my fingers
X-rays: I glow now, probably shouldn't have any more if possible
-Y -
Year it is now: 2008
Yellow: I vaguely remember an orb in the sky that was that color, I believe in California they call it the sun
-Z -
Zoo Animal: Bush babies
Zodiac Sign: Aries

A lovely blog prompt

1. What is your occupation right now? Domestic Engineer-- house mom
2. What color are your socks right now? I can't breath with socks on
3. What are you listening to right now? My son sing Crocodile Rock
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Carrots
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes, if my left knee wasn't blown out in an unfortunate skating incident
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Allison, last night...
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? She's awesome with a capital AW
8. How old are you today? 28 in human years
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? uh today it's soccer
10. What is your favorite drink? Sailor Jerry and Pepsi
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yep
12. Favorite food? avocados
13. What is the last movie you watched? Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show
14. Favorite day of the year? October 14
15. How do you vent anger? Bombard Allison with f words and various other colorful language at 7:07
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Toys, what are these toys you speak of? I was born a grown up I'll have you know.
17. What is your favorite season? Camping Season
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? yep
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Hello, nobody reads this blog, lol
21. Who is least likely to respond? The rest of the free world
22. Living arrangements? The vortex of weird weather Washington
23. When was the last time you cried? A few minutes ago
24. What is on the floor of your closet? clothes for donation and a hamper
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Allison, but she sent it to me
26. What did you do last night? Talked to Allison and read some of Catch 22
27. What are you most afraid of? My son growing up in this fucked up place
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburger? plain hamburgers with spicy cheese
29. Favorite dog breed? English Bull Dog
30. Favorite Day of the week? Wednesday
31. How many states have you lived in? 2
32. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
33. What is your favorite flower? Some kind of orange thing, I think it is a lily of some sort and spider mums

And now for the coming attraction

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am starting a new blog. The title is "What's up f*ckers?" And it's all about things that just plain irk me in some way or another. I figure this way I can keep all things sunshine and daisies and the miscellaneous stuff here, and the mental debris there. I'm told my ranting and raving can be comical at times, you be the judge.

But what does that mean?

A couple of nights ago A. and I were on the phone and the conversation turned to sayings and where they come from. So I thought I would do some research and share some of their origins. Some of these I already knew through various forms of trivia, others from people I know, and some from the good old interweb. Here goes

1. "Off his rocker" : From best I can gather it started in the early steam engine days. The beam engine in particular, it rocked back and forth and if it came off of its pivot/rocker it would go nuts and flail around and destroy everything around it. This was the particular phrase that began the whole conversation in the first place.

2. "Fly off the handle" : From the early days of axe handles. Before there were any real mass merchandised, or assembly line type axes being made a lot of the time the craftsmanship wasn't always up to par. A person could be chopping away and mid stroke the axe head would come flying off with unpredictable and often bloody results.

3. "Balls to the walls" : Strangely enough I learned this one from Jay Leno a few weeks ago when he was describing his steam engine. The governor on the engine is basically two balls on iether side of a bar of some kind, held together by pins into the tops and bottoms of the rubber balls. (At least they looked rubber) Anyway they would push out toward the sides when the engine picked up speed. When they were as far out as the pins would allow them to get the governor kicked in, thus the term. It sort of resembled one of those "egg beater" windmills only with a ball halfway up on either side.

4. "Stool Pigeon" : This one is rather brutal. In early hunting days the hunters would catch a carrier pigeon and nail him to a tree stump. The poor bird would cry out, and others would flock to him to see what the alarm was about. The hunters would shoot them down by the dozen. They are now extinct.

5. "Wild goose chase"
It was a game sort of like follow the leader, on horseback. It was played in Elizabethan England. This is the way they thought that geese behaved.


Hope it was entertaining!

3 things

AROUND HERE

This writing prompt is to list 10 things starting with around here that are true about your house...

1. Around here dinner is between 4:00 and 4:30 pm...unless daddy is cooking.

2. Around here there is always coffee on.

3. Around here there are always at least 8 pairs of shoes by the door, no matter how many times I put them back, and there are only 3 people here.

4. Around here if the phone isn't occupied at 7:01 pm, it just seems weird.

5. Around here the rain sucks...until the sun comes out.

6. Around here the word no means, "yes but faster. so mommy can't catch me"

7. Around here "I'll be to bed in a minute", translates to "I'll be drooling on the couch at 1:00 am

8. Around here just isn't like mom and dad's house.

9. Around here the color crayons are like land mines.

10. Around here the magic kitchen fairy has the dishes done and the coffee ready when daddy wakes up.

TODAY

This writing prompt is for you to list three things about your day today and explain why they are randomly important.

1. I called my aunt on the phone to say hello. She asked me if I called my God father, of course I didn't because I am a half wit who misplaced her calendar. So I hung up and called my uncle, wished him a happy birthday, and all was right with the world. *smiles*

2. My neighbor found a weird bug. We live in a duplex. The weird bugs are termites. The end.

3. Last nights plan to pretend to like the product of his kitchen experiment backfired. He asked me if I wanted another veggie burger for lunch. I had to come clean.

Senses Questions

This one asks you to answer the following 4 questions...

1. What is your favorite smell? The ocean.

2. What is your favorite feeling? highlighter yellow

3. What is your favorite sound? Phoenix

4. What is your favorite sight? These days the inside of my eyelids is my favorite, haven't got much sleep!

6 Things

This one is a writing prompt called memories where you write a small paragraph about each of
6 scenarios...



1. it is elementary school recess...

I am in 4th grade, but my best friend is in fifth. I spend the first five minutes trying to escape Stacy, and the next trying to locate A. Finally I spend the last five minutes trying to explain to her Stacy's latest plot to prove to her why she shouldn't be my friend. We laugh, and the bell rings.


2. it is summer vacation and you are 15...

I spend a lot of time alone. There are many secret meetings between us. Hushed conversations about the future together that will never be. Waiting, watching, praying. A few times I try to get him to go for a ride in my "cool car", you know to get his mind off things. We hatch a plot, that enables me to keep a part of him forever, but the chemo had other plans.

3. it is the high school football homecoming game...

I am stranded in the band section, sweltering in this horrid uniform. Thank God we only have to wear the tampon hats for half time. Josh Bluett walks by and jokes with his buddy about the dog in the band section in heat just waiting for him... he has the audacity to point. Looks like nobody else heard him, but me. I cried all the way home.


4. it is the last summer before college...

I am terrified. I spend my day working for the Police Activities League at the swimming pool, and worrying about the future all by myself. Alicia, (the girl who worked with me) hasn't slept in 3 days. It's a hundred degrees and her body finally gives out. She has overdosed, but I don't know that until the next day when I show up to work. I spend the rest of the summer just me and the lifeguards.


5. it is a night at home with the family...

I get the giggling wriggle worm out of the toy filled tub. Wrap him in his little hoody towel, stop in front of the mirror to make faces and head out of the bathroom. Although I have everything I could possibly need to get him ready for bed, it's still an adventure. He escapes the second his feet touch the ground. My child hates diapers...or at least the putting on of a new one. His daddy tries to gently direct him back to me before giving up and scooping him my way. We spend the next 20 minutes trying to lotion, powder, diaper and get him in pajamas. He runs around like a chicken with it's head cut off, using his father for a jungle gym, and creating more mess than I think 7 of him should be able to produce. I catch him, we read a few bedtime books, and then it's time for prayers and bed.

6. it is a road trip with friends...

The last time I went on a road trip with friends I was 18 years old.

June 6, 2008

The other night I was on the phone with one of my good friends when she said something about being a grain of sand in a barrel of shit. To this I replied I'd rather be a grain of sand in a barrel of other sand. To this she said "You probably haven't been sand in other sand since you were seven". The funny thing is that the statement seemed to hit me like this great realization. Now I have known that I have had more than my fair share of struggle, but I guess while I've always known it, I hadn't really thought about it that much. So of course in my strange brain this triggered a "why haven't you been thinking about it"? I proceed to over think it, a lot. I search my brain for a time in my oldest memories for a time there wasn't fighting of some kind. And then after a few hours of tossing and turning, it actually did hit me like a ton of bricks, I don't have any childhood memories that don't involve fights. Leading me right into questioning who I must have been in a past life, for surely I must have been a heathen. Another friend of mind mused about this the other day and thought I must have been Elizabeth Báthory,(virgin blood bather). Now I don't know that there even is a such thing as a past life, but it would definitely make me feel better sometimes. *smile*

12 words

My friend posted this prompt on her blog today. Here's my thoughts on it. You can do it too!

Below is a list of 12 words. Write 1 paragraph about what you think of (in your life) when you hear that word.


1. Home
I wish I had something profound and sentimental to say here but I do not. I am still trying to find "home". The truth is we moved around more than a few times before my parents bought the house in CrowsLanding. I suppose if home were a feeling, then home would be wherever I could run to my mother. If home were an object, it would be the felled telephone poll in the alley behind my parents house. Where Robert bribed me with random things like a box of cereal, or some other thing that 10 year old boys thing is barter worthy, in exchange for me doing his homework. If home is the place where your roots are, then I haven't one yet, because I am definitely not staying here. *smile*. At this time in my life, home is a dream. Home is where I will feel safe raising my son, and growing my vegetables, and hopefully on a big enough patch of dirt that my loved ones can have a house if they'd like.


2. Family
I don't have 3rd, 4th, or whatever removed family. To me all my cousins are my cousins, no matter how far down the line. I have a thousand aunts or uncles that have married into the family and countless "step" relatives. And before you say anything, I have spent Christmas with every single one of them at one time or another. That being said, I love them all the same. The blood in their veins isn't important to me. Sadly, I have a few aunts that don't feel that way. And because I choose to love everyone, they choose not to talk to me. That's fine I guess. But to me it's not so black and white. I don't have any biological sisters, but I have a friend or two that I think are probably just as good, if not better than the real thing.

3. Marriage
The scariest fucking thing on the planet. Will I really love someone until I die? Stupid question. Of course I have the capacity to do that. The one that really gets me, is whether someone could love me that long.

4. Sex
Sex is a trixy little hobit. Does he like this? Do I like this? Is he bored? Why can't he figure out that that bugs the shit out of me? Why are we on totally different libido clocks? No, not all girls dig cuddling! And why are some people so weirded out when others breach the subject? Is there some secret boy rule stating 2 years into the relationship is when it's okay to make "suggestions"? Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I've had a bunch of 2 year relationships gone weird. Just the general consensus among my friends.


5. Friends
When I was a child, my friends father told me that I would eventually count all my friends on one hand. He was half right, at this juncture in my life I can count my closest friends comfortably on one hand. I have many many people in my life that I am here for on all accounts, but I have only a select few that would do the same for me. None the less, friends are better than family because you get to pick them. A friend stays on the phone way to late with you in an endless conversation that started off about pop tarts, veered passed andiron chairs, and finally finished off on how fast a midget runs through the jungle before you part on your insomniac ways. Friends help each other, they listen when you need them, and they come to you when they need listening.


6. God
I read somewhere about a professor who said there was no God based on the fact that there was such evil in the world. One student stood up and replied that there really is no evil, just an absence of God. It makes sense. Think about it, we cannot measure cold, only heat. There is an absolute zero, the complete absence of heat. However it can always get hotter. There is no dark, that is just what we call it when there is an absence of light. Thus there is no evil, just the absence of God in the hearts of men.


7. Color
The scariest word in the English language. The reason I can't sleep at night. And although my skin is not dark by any means. It is dark enough to garner sideways glances when I go to the post office. The reason I want to home school my child. The reason my friends are my friends, because they don't see it. The reason I seem to be unable to produce an adequate sentence here.

8. Frustration
Watching a loved on hurt, and being able to do nothing about it. Wanting to save the world, but not knowing where to start. Feeling like my hands are tied, when they are really pulling out my hair.

9. Happiness
I saw my friend Von today on my way home from the post office. He was getting dropped off by the same medical cab company that I used to use. He was smiling and I asked him how he was. He said it was a little easier to swallow these days. I smiled and said I would make him cupcakes. And I did, but when I went back to his apartment to take them to him there was no answer. It's probably because he was sleeping, it was 6:45. Von has cancer, and everyday he takes a cab to get radiation treatment in his neck. And even though he's done it every day for a month, and won't be done until the 16th, he was offering a smile. He was just satisfied with being here, and he was not bitter. And although I am sad for myself to watch another ail, I am glad to have had him befriend me, I am better for it.

10. Silence
The absence of sound. I am not sure I have experienced it really. I've been where there was no noise, but I find these are the times when my thoughts are the loudest. I hate when it's quiet, gives people reason to question said thoughts. And although they are screaming in my head sometimes, I don't want them voiced. And I want to cram my hand down my throat to keep from doing so because for the most part silence is what follows when somebody in the room does or says something offensive.

11. Noise
For me the word noise is like the word home to other people. This is the first place I've stayed for more than 6 months in a very long time. And although my parents have lived in the same house since I was 10 now, nothing is guaranteed to stay the same. A lot of my family are opting to move around these days, and at first I was sad. I used to think my grandmother's house was "home", my aunt just lost that house. I was sad, but I realized that I had no intention of going in that house again. My grandmother was dead, and my aunt was holed up in one room letting her 6 or so dogs overrun the place. But it wasn't the building that I loved, because there were good memories and bad. What I loved was the sound of my family members together and being joyous. When I go home to visit my parents I love it because the whole time I am there, there is a dull roar. As family members, and friends, and family members' friends, and friends' family members, *smile*, mill in and out. My dad's t.v. is always on WAY too loud, the chihuahua is spinning in circles and yapping like a lunatic. But that is just the way I like it. At the risk of sounding cliche, I love life and hearing it all around me. I'd be sad if I lost my sight, but I'd be devastated if I could never hear my son sing again.

12. End
There isn't one. Just moving on to the next level. When the book gets to heavy end it, but start a new one. When my mortal life ends, I'm sure what I think is my spiritual life now, will only be beginning. When Robert died it was the beginning of my life without him. But when the hardest time of my life ended, (pregnancy), my life as a mother began. Our life is a series of never ending beginnings if you look at it the right way.

Well there it is, my humble attempt at it! Hope you enjoyed.