Mike Check

Wow, ages since this thing, I've touched. I think my last blog was for Allison's birthday. Today it isn't going to be a super long one, but informative, at least. Mikey was getting out of control on this box. There was much passionate, creative, indoor voice using, "discussions", after baby bedtime. In the end I have a little more time to blog. This would have been longer, but apparently that time is not now, because Phoenix seems to be annoying Mike in some way that he cannot handle himself.

60 for 40

Apparently the first time someone uses coupons in their life, there is a sudden realization. The other day, I sent Mikey to the store armed with a short list and a stack of coupons. Although he came home with two extra things, it was way better than his usual extras. None the less, when he came in the door, he was very excited. He said, "With that coupon you gave me, this razor only cost four bucks!" I cautiously, I asked him how much he spent. He proudly said, "I saved $21.00! It was supposed to be sixty, but it was thirty!" It was then that it dawned on me that he had probably never used them before. When I asked him he said it was because he was a bachelor, and he didn't really need to. I don't know, myself, I think everybody could use a little savings. It adds up. Sales combined with coupons, equals money in your pocket. Or, as in our case, money that can pay a bill. In his one trip he saved a third of the bill. Looking forward, it's nice that we are on the same "saving money" page.

No really, those are for the neighbors

After hours and hours of baking yesterday/ last night, the will power in him broke. I think he must have ate a dozen cookies. At least he stuck to one kind and I will only spend part of today rebaking, as it were, is that a word? Hmmm yes I see it now. Rebaking- The act of replacing the holiday cookies your Not-Better-Half eats before the Christmas plates go out.

The sickies...I hate them

Okay I swear I am being tested. Last week it was some kind of weird head cold, which I don't think I'd ever really experienced before. Well, the baby feels better, Mike feels better..and I feel like death warmed over. I no longer have a head cold, but for the first time in my adult life, I am running a fever. Which in itself weirds me out, but added to the horrible stomach issues that are accompanying it, just plain out sucks. Unfortunately at this time, my O.C.D. seems to be in full on overdrive. Arguably there are many people who have been to my house and would say it's never "not clean", I beg to differ. I mean I already do some strange things like use an electric toothbrush to clean in the bathroom. Which, by the way, I have to say I thought that was a good idea regardless of O.C.D.. But even though all I wanted to do was lay on the couch yesterday in a sweat shirt and a blanket, (by the way Mike tells me it was 85 degrees out), I kept thinking of things that absolutely, positively HAD to be done yesterday. Bleaching the blinds, bleaching the floor, organizing parkas to donate, cleaning under my bed, organizing the four tubs of sort of random in the laundry room, trying to find someone to take my stroller, and pack n play, going through Phoenix's clothes, resolving the carpet, shining the door knobs, making a list of said things, and a myriad of crap that can probably wait. Oh yeah, and I am still failing miserably at quitting smoking, ( I can't wait for my white strips,lol).
I am also trying to decide if I am just Über sensitive, or Mike is really a dolt. I guess I have to remember that he is at a disadvantage as he is equipped with a penis. But seriously I know other Not-better-halves that at least try to help out when mom isn't doing so hot. By the way guys, saying "I'll do the dishes in a while" seventeen times and then getting faux pissy when she ends up doing them because she can't stand to see the damn things piling out of the sink and on to the counter, is not a good thing. In fact, don't be surprised if her head spins off. And for fucks sake, don't bitch about getting 4 hours of sleep ONE TIME in your fucking life. Especially when she is trying not to vomit up an intestine and has just stayed up an hour later than normal because she doesn't want to deal with your whining when she says "I'm going to bed" at the same time she says it every night because HELLO she gets up every day with your child. Oh yeah here's a newsflash, why don't you offer to get up with him for once. Just a thought, but maybe one day of you being a fucking grown up with your baby would help tremendously with the recouperating. Douche face.
The end.

Woudn't you know

I have been having trouble sleeping for quite some time now. Every night it's the same thing tossing and turning, never getting to sleep before 4:00 a.m. But last night was a little different. Don't get me wrong, I still got pretty much no sleep, things just happened in a different order this time. So there I am for the first time in months totally asleep by 12:30. If I were awake I'd have been really exited about that. Anyway at 3:13 Mike decides he is going to come to bed and pretty much land on me, insuring no more sleeping for me. I have been up pretty much since then. Well I take that back, fell asleep briefly after that, but he managed to knee me in is sleep. On reflection I think that I would have rather just had the usual insomnia routine. As now I am beyond pissed off at the Not-Better-Half, because this is so not the first f-ing time. And it will probably not get better when he rolls out of bed at 11:00 and wants his coffee. So needless to say I have been sobbing off and on all damn night. And you know what, I am starting to believe that tired crying is sometimes worse than other crying because it exacerbates all the other emotions that may be floating through you. I hate the tired cries. And sometimes I can't help but feel pathetic and damaged for blubbering over sleep. But like I said, fatigue magnifies emotion.

Mother's Day?

Okay so I thought I wasn't going to write anything in particular in regards to this holiday, but here goes. I am not exactly sure, but I don't think this is really a holiday for the mothers. I can't really say that I remember last year, but I think I got a card. Fast forward to yesterday. My mom is complaining about how tomorrow is mother's day and she has to go fishing with my dad. What? Why would you go fishing? She tells me that it is just easier that way. I say whatever, my dad can be a weirdo. Then today rolls around. At this time I am now in understanding of what she meant. The next time nitwit asks me what I want for this day, he's going to get a list of what I do not want. Because that's all I can come up with. I do not know what I want because I spent all day learning about the opposite. I do not want to get up early to a sink full of dishes that multiplied while I slept. I do not want to be chipper when at 10:45 you roll out of bed and I've washed said dishes, given the baby a hot breakfast, washed those dishes, and done three loads of laundry that cannot be put away because YOU ARE SLEEPING! I do not want to be asked what I want for dinner 37 times in 5 minutes and blurt out the first food that pops into my head. "Salad!?!?" I do not want to spend the rest of the day explaining that I don't want salad and to have to make something for the baby, because I felt guilty about not picking fast enough. I do not want to feel guilty when I get my mother's day salad and then decide I want to add avocados and carrots. And damn it, I DO NOT WANT TO LUG THE TRASH UP THE HILL AFTER THE BABY GOES TO BED. Ahhhhh cleansing.
So in conclusion I have learned that this day is not about giving this woman called mom a break. Oh no sir, it is about others patting themselves on the back for all the things they just know you wanted and they provided today. Me, I would have settled for sleeping in and not dealing with a rashy baby and having no time to get a shower in. Okay, rant over.