Another year

I wanted to say something deep and profound. But the words just wouldn't come. Happy Birthday Robert. I love you.

Seal coughs and running noses

Yesterday was craptastic. For the most part of it, I don't want to talk about it because I can't be nice. Suffice to say I spent some time with Satan, and she was at her usual worst. After we got home things went down hill. He started with a runny nose, and that was all there was going on when he went to bed last night. But at oh 9:30ish began the horrible seal coughing. I am completely unprepared. Here in Washington they LOVE to pass out the narcotics left and right, but try to get something to ease your kids coughing and they look at you like your stupid. It's a good thing I know how much plain old Tylenol to give him, because you can't even call them for dosing instructions. You will be greeted with we don't want you to give him anything, it's best to let him ride it out. My question is how many of you fuckers sit idly by and watch your kid hack his brains out sounding like Phyllis Diller? Enter BFF with the normal doctor there in California. She has all the charts of all the doses that she is willing to share. So now I'm in a quandry because I know if I call the doctor's office they will do two things. First tell me not to give him anything at all. Second tell me to bring him in, and then send me home telling me not to give him anything. Or I can just figure out what the best cough syrup is to give him... Actually that means call Allie and ask her what the best plan of attack is. And then ride it out for a day or two to see where it goes before calling the doc. But I still feel like a bad mom because shouldn't I call the doctor even if that is the response? And then there is the whole other barrel of shit that comes with needing a ride to the doctor what with the guilt trip that unfailingly follows. *sigh* I miss home, and the village that raised me.

***disclaimer***
Parts of this entry may be incoherent due to lack of sleep ;)

Television and motherhood

All the house work is done, here I sit flipping through the channels. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Oooh a marathon of "House"! I've seen that once, I like him. Click.
It's a thin line. What you could and couldn't stomach. And what you can tolerate as a mother. I LOVED scary movies... until Phoenix. Now any of those babies could be him. Gone are the days of "I feel like crap, Court TV all day it is!" Now not only is there a little one that I'd rather not let watch certain things, every little thing means something totally different now. Any, and I mean any, situation can now be morphed into a possibility in our life. It's like there is an "insert child's name here", in every damn title. Okay so I'm watching "House", and in the first fifteen seconds I regret that decision. It was about sick babies. I'll go ahead and spare the details. But alas, I now had to watch the remaining 59 minutes, and forty five seconds minus commercials. I was stuck desperately needing to know that they save the day. Crying for most of the make believe story there in TV land. Why? Because I have a child now. And even though the story would have made me sad before. Once he debuted in the carbon world, this kind of thing wrecks me. Because I put myself in these situations. I drill myself on what I would do, how I would act, and everything else. Let me tell you, I can contort my brain in marvelously strange ways. On it goes until I find something to redirect my focus. Basically, I watch a ton of comedies, they feed my happy.

Pennies from Heaven

Rolling pennies. Three trips to the bank worth of loose change. That is after I get one more penny roll and two more quarters to finish off the 4th roll. Yes, I said fourth. But I"m not complaining by any means. In fact just the opposite. Besides the fact that it is somewhat cathartic for someone like me to get even the smallest pile of chaos sorted. It is because so many people love my child that they will rid their pockets of all coins just to watch him run smiling to put them in his bank. Never mind that I could just empty the bank and let him put the same coins in over and over. They look at me like I'm insane. And although there's another two pounds worth in California, the three plus canisters I have here are nearly completely rolled. I am blessed in the fact that so many people love my child. I am overjoyed that he has grandparents and godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends that love him so much. I grew up surrounded by the same types. It takes a village... even the long distance kind works.

Writer's Block

So I haven't posted in a while and it bothers the crap out of me. The problem is that I have so many things bumping around in my brain that I can't seem to focus on one long enough to get a coherent thought out. I'm working on it, I promise. Anyway while reading the local paper yesterday I ran across a section called "Coffee Break" there were a few anecdotes that made me chuckle and I thought I would share.

A woman, ready to go to the store, stood at the door with her arms full of coats. Four little children stood at her side. Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there.
handing him the coats, she responded, "This time you put on the children's coats, and I'll honk the horn."

An old man asked his wife to make him a hot fudge sundae. She went to the kitchen and ten minutes later came back wit ha plate of scrambled eggs instead. Seeing this, her husband flew into a rage and yelled, "Where's the bacon? I asked for bacon!"

Mrs. Bloom decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "I want you to paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, and a ruby pendant."
The artist replied, "But you're not wearing any of those things."
"I know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. I'm certain he'll get married again right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

Hope you enjoyed a little comic relief, I know I did.

A lovely blog prompt

1. What is your occupation right now? Domestic Engineer-- house mom
2. What color are your socks right now? I can't breath with socks on
3. What are you listening to right now? My son sing Crocodile Rock
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Carrots
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes, if my left knee wasn't blown out in an unfortunate skating incident
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Allison, last night...
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? She's awesome with a capital AW
8. How old are you today? 28 in human years
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? uh today it's soccer
10. What is your favorite drink? Sailor Jerry and Pepsi
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yep
12. Favorite food? avocados
13. What is the last movie you watched? Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show
14. Favorite day of the year? October 14
15. How do you vent anger? Bombard Allison with f words and various other colorful language at 7:07
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Toys, what are these toys you speak of? I was born a grown up I'll have you know.
17. What is your favorite season? Camping Season
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? yep
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Hello, nobody reads this blog, lol
21. Who is least likely to respond? The rest of the free world
22. Living arrangements? The vortex of weird weather Washington
23. When was the last time you cried? A few minutes ago
24. What is on the floor of your closet? clothes for donation and a hamper
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Allison, but she sent it to me
26. What did you do last night? Talked to Allison and read some of Catch 22
27. What are you most afraid of? My son growing up in this fucked up place
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburger? plain hamburgers with spicy cheese
29. Favorite dog breed? English Bull Dog
30. Favorite Day of the week? Wednesday
31. How many states have you lived in? 2
32. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
33. What is your favorite flower? Some kind of orange thing, I think it is a lily of some sort and spider mums

Even nice dentists hurt

Just got back from having a bothersome tooth pulled. And although my dentist called me hun and kept assuring me that I was doing good, I was still terrified. Because as is the law of Murphy, my teeth were perfect...that is until I know longer had a cushy job and top of the line insurance. So here I sit, terrified. I have had exactly four teeth pulled in my adult life. And I use the term lightly because they were my wisdom teeth, and I was still in college far from adult, and my mommy and brother took me. He said he'd pump my face full of all the Novocaine I wanted, then was shocked when even though the pain wasn't completely gone, I didn't need anymore. I explained about the previous dentist and her aversion to my state health care. You know some people don't care whether you paid your taxes for your whole life, the second you are on aid you are as good as a degenerate crack head who's working the system. He looked genuinely horrified. At any rate, what was left of my poor tooth was not easy to get out and it involved some twisting and pushing and pulling. He apologized throughout the whole endeavor and I left feeling a little better about humanity, even if my face was already beginning to throb and I won't be able to smile again until I have dental insurance. End the end I think it went as well as it could have.