Right Now

Right now I am overwhelmed with sadness. A sadness that I neither understand nor have any control over.
Right now my son is acting like he hates me again, and I just don't know why.
Right now I am wondering if I subconsciously cause all other living beings to be repelled.
Right now I want my son to love me. Right now all of my loved ones are in some form of turmoil, and I am paralyzed with the rancor at my own inability to help. Right now I am mindful of my infinite shortcomings. Right now I am in fear that if I one day I haven't even worthy advice to offer, people will no longer come to call on me. Right now I worry that I have failed all of you. Right now I am scared that I only have thirteen hours and 49 minutes to relocate the fervor for my 2009 plans that I possessed yesterday.

Hi There.

Wow have I been caught up lately. The holidays, the snow storm, trying to rearrange the house to accommodate the boy's new toys. *sigh* It feels like I am in a constant state of cleaning up. If it's not the house, it's something. It's always something. The last couple mornings the Not-Better-Half has been at the computer before the morning dishes are done, and therefore I don't get a chance at the computer until the afternoon. Usually by the time that rolls around, I have lost all interest. But I think I see my kitchen under the debris.

Holy Snowballs Batman!

Oh wow, I seem to remember saying something the other day about wanting snow. Hmmm. It's been snowing now steadily since Wednesday. W-O-W WOW!!! I have never seen so much snow for such a long period of time. When I was a child my family would sometimes spend a few days at a time in a small town in Northern California, I believe it was called Strawberry. I know a few times we went to Longbarn. Before I meander right on off the path, there are about two feet of snow in my front yard. Our back walkway is almost a snow tunnel these days. I really can't help it, I think it's grand. I actually prayed for snow a couple of weeks ago. I am so enamored with the idea of a white Christmas. This will be my first snowed in Christmas. I don't know, maybe there is something wrong with me, but I love it. We have plenty of supplies for a few days, and nowhere to be other than home. I am romanticized by the idea of just my little family spending quiet snowy days whiling away the hours. Doing the things that families do. Building ships out of blocks, for his pirates "Pip" and "Barry". Watching the Christmas specials that have been on for years... and a couple new ones too. For the first time finding solace from the O.C.D. train. Sitting for a while viewing God's wonder in each airy flake. No cars at night, so quiet you can hear the snow alighting on the drifts. I could sit, idle for hours just watching it float down.
The atmosphere around the homestead has been pleasant as of late, the snow I prayed for is here, (and the white Christmas (maybe, if it stays the way it looks), I was to embarrassed to pray for after having the snow start to fall, *smile*). I have a happy, healthy and extraordinarily smart son. I have his mostly intact, (minus the thumb, smile), father to help me raise him. I have the most awesome best friend on Earth, maybe even Mars. I still have both my parents, who I got to spend an early Christmas with last week. I have the greatest brother God could have given me. There are of course problems in my life, and the lives of others connected to me, but right now I'm okay. My prayers have been answered, even the ones that I didn't need. Thank you Jesus, for everything.

The parentals came up from California to celebrate Christmas last week. The trip had to be cut short as the snow was about to come in. Here are a couple of pictures and who knows, there may even be a video post in the near future.




Yeah I know, my hair looks awesome, but you can kind of see my tree in this picture. I don't think I like it. It needs more ornaments. Definitely, definitely more ornaments.

Nana and Papa bought him a coonskin cap! I know, the picture seems to be awfully blurry.

Phoenix opening his new uber drum pad. *smile*

On our way back from sabbatical in California last August we stopped at our cousin Sabrina's house. Here are a couple pictures of Phoenix and Layla's first meeting.

We didn't get to stay for very long, but I was very glad to see them. Sabrina has had the baby since these pictures were taken. Baby Charles was a healthy Eight pounds and three ounces.

This is Layla with her grandma, my Aunt Rhonda. We didn't get to spend much time with her because it was late when we came in and she had to get up really early in the morning. She works in Oregon for eight months a year, and then lives in Canada the rest of the time. Sometimes we are lucky and get to see her when she is passing through
.
Phoenix really like Layla's toys. Too bad he would much rather go backward than forward.

Okay Snow, what the f*ck?

For days and days the reports have been loud and long. "Cold Snap Coming!." Everywhere you go, someone is asking if you are prepared to hunker down for the coming days. It was supposed to get to the really cold part starting yesterday, and going all the way to next Saturday. Don't get me wrong, it's colder than it's been here since, I believe it was, 1993. Whatever the exact year, it was when Mike was a freshman in high school, so it was a while back. *Smile* The wretchedly ironic thing about the weather right now is this. This is Washington, it rains here from, oh I don't know, September to June/July, but it rarely gets cold enough to snow. We are usually hovering just about freezing. Thus we have, really, really, fucking really cold rain for the most part. So here we are, it's twenty-two degrees outside. Is it too much to ask for a drop of precipitation or five?
Oh wait, there was yesterday. How could I forget yesterday? When it did snow all day, it just only stuck for a few minutes at a time.

Happy December

My parents are safely home and the snow has begun to fall. Yesterday it was snowy when I woke up, but it all melted off by mid-morning. Today is the big day that all the weather channels have been talking about. Honestly, I expected to wake up and find the ground already covered in white. Not yet, but it is snowing out there. For some reason, just the thought of the impending cold snap, has left me wanting to sit around and be lethargic.
This time the house wasn't as insane as it usually is after company. So it was nice to be able to relax relatively quickly after all the excitement. There were cookies and laughing and a gift wrap tornado before all was said and done. Dad didn't manage to get his haircut from Susan, but we survived. *smile* Phoenix was pleasantly surprised with a new drum pad. (I think Mike was also pretty excited about the new drum pad. To my utter delight, was a new Guitar Hero game. I have played quite a lot in the last few days. Hmm maybe that has something to do with the lethargy regarding everything else. *Smile* There was ton of other things too. A new mixer, a new travel mug coffee pot thingy, clothes. You get the picture. *Grin*
The Christmas cookie plates did manage to make it to the neighbors the night before my parents arrival, I am happy to report. In other awesomeness, someone liked my cookies so much that she bought me a plant! I was excited, because I really wanted a poinsettia and wasn't planning on being able to get one. Attached to the bow was a little toy jeep for Phoenix. I thought that was really nice of her. Anyway, off to wait for the snow to stick.