promises

I'd love to promise a new blog more often, but life is eating me up. If only I could plug the computer into my brain when I am laying down to another night of insomnia. That is always when I think up the best blogs, but am too tire to fire up the computer... I need a laptop... or to figure out mobile blogger with my phone.

I know I know

It's been like three weeks. Aside from helping my neighbor get ready for out of state family, coaching a couple of people through needing an drink, picking up the pieces of a friend's broken heart; I have also been having my own yuletide nightmare, and trying to fit more crap in my house, and homeschooling a three year old, and trying to get ready for my own family's appearance. There has been a little lapse in the posting. I promise to be more astute. As for now, I am off again, because I think I actually did real damage to my left arm/hand/shoulder with the baking of a million cookies, caramel corn, and fudge for all the neighbors. Merry, happy a couple few days after Christmas.

Adventure in homeschooling

There is no set time for class. There isn't even a set time for wake up. (Although mommy could definitely use it being later,*smiles*) A good chunk of every day in our house is devoted to learning in our house, though. A lot of times, what I have planned for the next day gets thrown to the wayside for something better, but that is one of the best parts. An early winter storm making today about weather. A freak tantrum turning it into a lesson in sharing sometimes. Sure, sometimes spelling gets pushed to a little later, but how many three year old kids do you know that tickle you and tell you a meerkat is getting you. It took us a little while to figure out a system that works for both of us for math, but he's progressing by leaps and bounds. It never stops making me laugh when people point out things he's "just not old enough to comprehend". Really? Who raised you? I could read at two years old because my mother believed she could teach me and in my potential. I believe in my son's potential, and I do not believe there is anything too far beyond his grasp. So when someone tells him he's too little to know something, it's usually them that get the admonishing. Don't hinder him, I'm sure he'll do plenty of that on his own as a teenager.
Sure, a lot of people don't understand how I can be so busy because I'm "just a stay at home mom". But being unemployed seems to be a blessing. I get to stay home and help mold someone's mind. It's awesome.

coming soon!

I have several sets of pictures that I've been meaning to get loaded onto the computer. I am going to be getting that done today. (Fingers Crossed!) So tomorrow or the next day there will be some new stuff. As per usual it has been super busy around here, I still have one, no two more?, weeks before Thanksgiving with Mike's parents. To cheer myself up, I started decorating for Christmas yesterday. There will be pictures hopefully, of my yet again blue/white tree. Someday I will be able to afford to do a whole new color, rather than add something to what I already have that matches! *smile*

Moving Forward

I have been beyond busy for at least three weeks straight. Disorganized, and a little mad scientist looking, I emerged though. Realizing that reform is in order, I am planning a complete overhaul of my time usage. Not wanting to have this post mirror the post on my other blog, let me just say, a change is coming! If I actually get it right this time, I will be going back to blogging with some regularity. I am shooting for at least every other day. I mean there really is no reason for me not to except, that I would much rather write with a pen and a paper, than type. I love writing, just for the sake of writing. I could really use a pen pal, come to think of it. At any rate, there seems to be a hiccup in the craziness lately, so I am going to take advantage of it. The next few posts will be about the visitors we've had over the last couple of weeks, and some of the other things that are going on in my life. And hopefully I will get the latest pictures out of my camera and into the computer!

Revisiting the fourth grade

When I was eight or nine I had a bit of a problem talking to my classmates. In fact one person thought I didn't speak English for more than a month. I used to do this thing where I drew faces on the bottom of my toes. It was my way I guess of replying to the other kids when they made fum of me, even though I said nothing. I could just tip one of my feet up slightly in their direction, and there hidden under my sock was a very angry faced toe person. It's silly, and why I choose to talk about it 20 years later is probably in itself odd, but oh well. Last night I was sitting and watching the worst movie ever, well at least last night it was, and I decided to draw a happy face on the bottom of one of my toes. Then I drew an equally crude sad face on the other. The night was long and emotionally draining. And starting today at 4:30 a.m. wasn't really what I had planned. So today when I walked in to the kitchen, bleary eyed and wanting to cry, I didn't even look at my floor. But after I got back from my daily walk to the store, tears streaming in the rain, I was looking down. Wouldn't you know it, my little happy faced drawing was stamped all over my kitchen floor. It made me smile despite myself. Right there in the middle of swearing off friendship forever, cursing the wretched rain, and graying my hair with money woes, was something to smile at. Something trivial and childish, but it brightened my day, even if just a little.

And So It Comes To This

Never blogging because I have nothing nice to say, is not good. So here goes. There comes a time when the apron strings must be cut. Even I know this, and my son is only three. I am fully aware that someday he will grow into a man, meet someone, and I will no longer be number one. I will still be his mom, and he will not love me any less. He will love this new person in a different way, and for me to want the same kind of feelings that he feels towards them, is just sick. I don't think that it is healthy, or sane, to wedge yourself in between your child and their significant other. I don't know what I would gain from that. I am pretty sure I don't want to doom my son to being without the company of someone to be in love with, until I die, and he can finally live his life. Why on earth would someone want to make their own progeny so miserable. You would think running off two woman after they already have dresses and rings, would be enough for the ego of any control-freak mother. I guess the icing on the cake would be getting rid of the mother of his child too. Unfortunately for her, if mommy goes, so does the kid, and she can eat a big fat dick. (I apologize for any of you that are faint of heart, or have virgin ears).
What I find the most disturbing I guess, is that she can't seem to figure it out. Caring only for her own happiness. Do you really think you are protecting your son in all his misery? Have you ever felt bad for forcing the other one into a career he realizes he doesn't really like? Or that nearly every fight your son and his fiance have, is about you and how fucked up you are? I don't know what the future holds, but being proud of keeping your son alone sucks. And ruining two other peoples lives on top of that, is just fucking evil.