My best friend lost a baby. I cried all day for her. I gave her time to get a hold of me, because I wasn't included in the texts that everyone else she loves got. I spent the time since then sending a random text here or there, that I got no response from. In fact the only one I heard anything about was this morning as a blog title. Telling me all about people who say that not really giving a shit. No I didn't keep texting her after the lack of response, but I've spent days trying to find someone to go to her house to take her food. I guess I should have told her that, because right now I'm just an asshole.
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Jon sent out prayer requests to 12 people in a mass text, most of them were family. Follow up texts (of which there were 2) went to family and George (who offered to end a vacation for us so we were telling him there was no need to). I wrote back to your 1 text and voicemail on Sunday morning when I started writing back to people and I got 1 responce which I did not write back to because it was very similar to the first text and I didn't think it needed it's own reply. I did write a lengthy blog about Jon's mom, and her absence makes me present mentality while all the other parents were calling and stopping by. I'm sorry your freaking out but right now I have a lot of things to worry about and I can't make this one of them. I'm sure you've got your own shit going on, but as the only blogs I've seen are about stray cats and new friends I can't really be supportive about whatever that is here. Instead I'll just say this... I can't be a good friend right now and fix whatever this is...because I'm still fixing me. FOr which I apologize because normally I'm more than happy to talk shit out and this time you're going to have to take the lead if you want that done. I don't have the strength to add to my to do list.
Yes, you are right, the only posts you have read, have absolutely nothing to do with medical issues, or more dead people. That is purposeful, so as not to add to your stress. I said it almost immediately, you have bigger things to worry about, and as demonstrated in your comment, you have a very large to do list. I am sorry that it was very coincidental that title of your last blog was a text I sent you the day before. But the two previous ones just nagged the shit out of me because I knew they were about me. Honestly I felt my efforts to be a good friend kept being rebuffed. And that I was never going to be a friend to the standard that you wanted. Judged almost. I am sorry no one was able to go to your house for me. And I am also sorry that I have my own shit going on right now. But know this, I kept it to myself because you didn't need it on your plate.
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