Cocky Is As Cocky Does

There was no way my Thanksgiving was going to be anything but good for my son. Therefore I set off on a mission to be "nice" come hell or high water. Almost immediately upon the arrival of Mike's parents I found myself reprising a former "emotional armor" role. The next thing I knew, I was projecting an air of overconfidence, bubbly little house wifey, and lame joke teller extraordinaire. I was going to have a good holiday damn it. I made every dish I could think of. I made an extra pie for her to take home. I made three pies for 5 people, and twenty-four, yes twenty-four deviled eggs. There were attempts to find the weak spot in the chain mail, but they were thwarted. I made a few comments that would dare not be uttered by any one but EvilLynn in a Santa hat. At one point she was commenting on how advanced Phoenix is. Without a moments hesitation, I quipped "Well his parents ARE geniuses", I almost pissed myself. But here it is people. The lamest joke I have ever uttered.

Shrek, Angelina Jolie, and Brad Pitt are sitting around talking. Shrek says "I wonder if I am the strongest man in the world". Brad says, " I wonder if I am the sexiest man alive". Angelina says "I wonder if I am the most beautiful woman in the world". The three decide to consult the famous magic mirror of fairytales. The next day Shrek comes in smiling and says "I AM the strongest man in the world". Brad follows with "I AM the sexiset man alive"! But Angelina comes in with a sad look on her face. All she says is "Who the hell is Lynn M___"?

Yes, I said that out loud. And then had to keep myself from collapsing in fits of laughter at my own absurdity and utter lack of disregard for my own appearance to the people around me. Believe me I was a total jackass with a capital ASS. But eventually she had to crack. You can't be mean to the court jester with an ego who baked you a pie. LOL

Turkey Day, The Aftermath

Thanksgiving here was hectic. Yes, only five people were here, but two of them were Mike's parents. I did dishes until 11:00 p.m., they are still not even down to fitting all in the sink. What really sucks though, is that I did dishes all day long, and had deluded myself into thinking I had any kind of a grasp on the situation. Mike's parental units arrived at around 2:00 p.m., and they didn't leave until 7:00 p.m. last night. At first my potatoes went soupy, but thankfully they dried up. Then I over estimated the amount of stuffing I made. Basically it looked like I had more ingredients than I actually did. Ironically, I swore that was not going to be enough, and it was the only dish that I didn't grossly overdo. I probably made everything else as if I was feeding 15 people. Oh well, I'm not the only one. Mike's only task was the turkey. OH MY GOD, when he brought home a 22 pound turkey on Monday, I could only marvel at the way-to-big-for-ten-let alone-five-people behemoth. "I wanted to make sure we had enough to make turkey sandwiches tomorrow" he says. Oh boy howdy do I have some leftover turkey. I have enough bleeping turkey to last me until Christmas! By then he'll have bought a gigantic Christams ham to last us until Easter no doubt.

I think...

My passion is waiting for my fortitude to reach the same level.

Tag, I'm it.

I have been tagged for another writing prompt. For your reading pleasure, ten facts regarding food and myself.

1. I love grapes, but hate all things grape flavored.
   
2. I never eat fast food, it makes me ill. But sometimes I crave Jack in the Box, if I give in, I regret it later. But then I eventually do it again.
3. I secretly want to have my own gourmet herb and spice shop.
   
4. I want to travel to places sometimes only to try the food.
5. I heart good food. I am excited about all the different flavors and textures that are out there.
   
6. I am of hispanic descent and I HATE cilantro!!!!
7. I think being unable to by the things that I would like to at the super market, has rendered me passionless for cooking.
8. I hope it comes back.
9. I wish my friend lived closer, so we could take the chocolate class at the college.
10. I don't dig processed food, but every night at 11:00 p.m. I must get up and eat cheese its. Every night without fail. Cheese its, mmm.
    

Just thought you might want to know...

I CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

Hiatus

Thanksgiving is around the corner and I'm going a million miles a minute. The entries will be a bit few and far between for a couple of days, but everyone is busy right about now. I'm sure the day after will be back to normal, right up until Christmas, where I'll have to take another break. *smiles*

Again?

Today I am writing, or trying to write, my Christmas cards. They will in no way be as awesome as my best friend's, (otherwise known as the Christmas Card Guru), but they will be heart felt. Things have been more than hectic. The brother, the dad, the in-laws, Thanksgiving, the creepy older man, money, and trying to keep from smoking. Whew, that is a lot of things to think about constantly along with the rest of the day's normal thinking. I need an emotional nap.

I Remember When...

48 and Counting

Happy birthday dad! Forty-eight big ones. I miss you dad, I wish we could be there to spend it with you. I'm sure your fine though, *smiles*, I called to tell you and Mom said you were at the Bass Pro shop. I'm going to keep this short, that way, you have to make it to forty-nine in order to receive the long, drawn out birthday wishes.

Happy Sunday!

Haha, that's really all I wanted to say. It's foggy all the way up to the window here. So today we are having a lazy pajama Sunday. The week has been hectic, and the drama bountiful, so it's time for a break. I hope Monday brings a calmer week. *Smiles*

Past, Present and Future?

The November issue of Kalama's own coffee break was pretty funny this time. I think it was because it seemed to contain an anecdote about what could be my past, present, and future.


Past:
One Saturday morning Anne's father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.
At 11:30 that same morning Anne sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad, " she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."

Present:
There was an unexpected knock on my door, I looked through the peephole and asked, "Who's there?"
"Parcel post, ma'am. I have a package that needs a signature."
"Could I see some ID?"
"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break into your house, I'd probably just use these," and showed me the keys I'd left in the front door.

Future:
A little old lady boarded a bus. Every ten minutes she'd ask the bus driver, "Have we reached Mapleton yet?"
"No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time.
Finally the little town came into view. Thr driver pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady."
"Is this Mapleton?"
"YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!"
"Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my blood pressure pill."


Hope you smiled at least a little.

Crap, what do I do now?

Anybody who knows me, knows that I am not one for being touched just because. And that goes doubly for people I do not know. So the other day when I was walking home from the store and a man in front of the old folks apartments on the corner stepped out into my path I was a little off put, but it gets worse. This man has waved or whatever from a distance a few times. Once he asked me what I was listening to. A few months ago I commented to Mike that he kind of gives me the heeeby jeebies, but that seemed to be the scope of it. I was wrong. So, he is now in between home and me, and very in my personal space. He's making polite conversation, but he's so close that I can smell his breath, and I am frightened. I tell him I need to get home to my son and his father. He reached up and grabbed my face with this lecherous look on his face and said "you want a ride?", in that voice that makes your skin crawl. On one hand, as I type this I kind of feel stupid. Like people will think it's no big deal. But I don't care. Honestly even if there weren't things in my past that might condition me to be more wary of things, I still think this would have creeped me out.
Anyway here we are three days or so later, and I just got back from sprinting past the building on my way home from the store. I could force Mike to go to the store, but it's my one little bit of outside exercise I get a day. And I'm a little pissed that I am now scared to walk down the street in broad day light. Now I want to move all the sooner, and I have debated on changed my route to a much longer one to go to the store. Am I wrong for being upset/scared?

In full swing

Thanksgiving preparation is in full swing around here. The menu is all planned, I think. The breakdown list of each dish and it's ingredients is being worked on, and a shopping trip is in the planning. There is only two other people coming, but I am making place cards anyway damn it! This is after all the first year that we are hosting. Wish me luck. I am off to go work on making a new cookie.

When it rains...it fucking hails.

The posts have been a bit sparse these days. That is do to an unpredicted storm in the parental/sibling area. Plus some unexpected weirdo yesterday, (another post). As it stands right now. My drug addled brother made an appearance. My mother is spent, my father is destroyed, my brother has gone back to whatever rock he crawled out from under, and I have aged 10 years.

Christmas Decorating on the Sly

I love to decorate for Christmas. I believe it should begin the day after Halloween. But then there is every single male I know saying, "What about Thanksgiving"? I don't have a single Thanksgiving decoration. I wouldn't even know where to begin. It's been rainy and dark, and family has been messy, and I just want to try to lift my spirits with a little Christmas cheer. So Tuesday I bought some snowflake decals to put on the windows. Okay so I feel a little better I suppose. Wednesday I wrote the Christmas card list. And as of yesterday I only have 3 more addresses to locate. On Thursday I dug out my box of bows,(which happens to be painted like a Christmas present), and happened to forget it on top of the entertainment center. I believe it was yesterday that I cleaned the hall closet and "found" the Nutcracker that I forgot Mike's dad gave me last year. It is next to the box of bows now. I don't own many decorations, but I'm sneaking out what I can, damn it!

I can't wait!

I can't wait for Christmas time. I can't wait to spend insane hours in the kitchen baking cookies and cakes and candies. I can't wait to deliver plates of goodies to the neighbors. I can't wait to drink white hot chocolate in my Christmas cups and watch Charlie Brown. I can't wait to hang my stockings. I can't wait to decorate. Well I'm not waiting as I put snowflakes on my windows yesterday. I also made my Christmas card list, or started to. This leaves less of a chance for me to forget any one. Don't get me wrong. I am excited about Thanksgiving. But for me, it's like the kick off to Christmas time. They just go together in my brain. On Thanksgiving you have a big grand dinner. Ending the evening with stuffed bellies, plates of left overs to take home, and contented sighs. My Thanksgiving has a short period in between eating and leaving that always turns to planning for Christmas. Every one decides what their respective plans are, and how they wish they could decorate if it was affordable. Thanksgiving will be here this year with his parents. I have already strategically placed my Christmas decorations box where I can get to it the second they leave.

Already?

"Brother,...baby brother, Phoenix brother."
*Sigh*
This is what I woke up to yesterday morning. My son wants a brother. Where did he see that? Isn't he too young to be asking for a brother? This is what I get. This is what happens when you work with your kid all the time. He becomes too smart for your own good. He knows what he wants, and damn it Mom, that's a brother. There is absolutely no way we can afford a baby right now. And damn if he doesn't have perfect timing. I have been contemplating his being an only child for a little while now. So of course it's now that he decides its time for a sit down talk. You think I'm joking. He came out of his room. Tugged my hand all the way to the couch, motioned for me to sit down, climbed up to eye level, took my face in his little hands and said, " Brother,...baby brother, Phoenix brother". I'm sure that would go over well with his dad, lol.

Mom let me have candy

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween. Here are a few pictures from our night.

Getting ready to go Trick-or-Treating with Daddy, Chris, and Cassady.


Trying to get to the candy while it's being sorted.


No Mom, I did not shove that whole candy in my mouth.

The candle, both ends really burn

Nothing has come spewing out of my brain for two days now. Three hundred times a day "I need to blog about that" runs through my mind. For the last two days I have done a whole lot of worrying. Yesterday I worried so much that I didn't do the usual Sunday deep cleaning of my house. Money, housing, food, job, school, money housing, food, job, school. Over and over, thoughts of these things ricochet off of each other in the confines of my skull. It's hard to wade a logical line through stress brain soup. I am beginning to wonder if going to sleep is worth it right now. Dreams often amplify fears of what could be if things continue on this trajectory. Up, down, up, down, all night long. Waking up more tired than the day before. The day before when you woke up thinking you couldn't remember the last time you were THIS tired.