Past, Present and Future?

The November issue of Kalama's own coffee break was pretty funny this time. I think it was because it seemed to contain an anecdote about what could be my past, present, and future.


Past:
One Saturday morning Anne's father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.
At 11:30 that same morning Anne sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad, " she replied nervously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."

Present:
There was an unexpected knock on my door, I looked through the peephole and asked, "Who's there?"
"Parcel post, ma'am. I have a package that needs a signature."
"Could I see some ID?"
"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break into your house, I'd probably just use these," and showed me the keys I'd left in the front door.

Future:
A little old lady boarded a bus. Every ten minutes she'd ask the bus driver, "Have we reached Mapleton yet?"
"No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time.
Finally the little town came into view. Thr driver pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady."
"Is this Mapleton?"
"YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!"
"Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my blood pressure pill."


Hope you smiled at least a little.