Cocky Is As Cocky Does

There was no way my Thanksgiving was going to be anything but good for my son. Therefore I set off on a mission to be "nice" come hell or high water. Almost immediately upon the arrival of Mike's parents I found myself reprising a former "emotional armor" role. The next thing I knew, I was projecting an air of overconfidence, bubbly little house wifey, and lame joke teller extraordinaire. I was going to have a good holiday damn it. I made every dish I could think of. I made an extra pie for her to take home. I made three pies for 5 people, and twenty-four, yes twenty-four deviled eggs. There were attempts to find the weak spot in the chain mail, but they were thwarted. I made a few comments that would dare not be uttered by any one but EvilLynn in a Santa hat. At one point she was commenting on how advanced Phoenix is. Without a moments hesitation, I quipped "Well his parents ARE geniuses", I almost pissed myself. But here it is people. The lamest joke I have ever uttered.

Shrek, Angelina Jolie, and Brad Pitt are sitting around talking. Shrek says "I wonder if I am the strongest man in the world". Brad says, " I wonder if I am the sexiest man alive". Angelina says "I wonder if I am the most beautiful woman in the world". The three decide to consult the famous magic mirror of fairytales. The next day Shrek comes in smiling and says "I AM the strongest man in the world". Brad follows with "I AM the sexiset man alive"! But Angelina comes in with a sad look on her face. All she says is "Who the hell is Lynn M___"?

Yes, I said that out loud. And then had to keep myself from collapsing in fits of laughter at my own absurdity and utter lack of disregard for my own appearance to the people around me. Believe me I was a total jackass with a capital ASS. But eventually she had to crack. You can't be mean to the court jester with an ego who baked you a pie. LOL