Writer's Block

So I haven't posted in a while and it bothers the crap out of me. The problem is that I have so many things bumping around in my brain that I can't seem to focus on one long enough to get a coherent thought out. I'm working on it, I promise. Anyway while reading the local paper yesterday I ran across a section called "Coffee Break" there were a few anecdotes that made me chuckle and I thought I would share.

A woman, ready to go to the store, stood at the door with her arms full of coats. Four little children stood at her side. Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there.
handing him the coats, she responded, "This time you put on the children's coats, and I'll honk the horn."

An old man asked his wife to make him a hot fudge sundae. She went to the kitchen and ten minutes later came back wit ha plate of scrambled eggs instead. Seeing this, her husband flew into a rage and yelled, "Where's the bacon? I asked for bacon!"

Mrs. Bloom decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "I want you to paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, and a ruby pendant."
The artist replied, "But you're not wearing any of those things."
"I know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. I'm certain he'll get married again right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

Hope you enjoyed a little comic relief, I know I did.