A Little Humor Goes A Long Way

When the phone rang at 10:00 p.m. all I could do was wonder why my mother was calling me this late. What could possible be wrong now? Let's start at a point closer to the beginning shall we? Yesterday was an all around shit-tastic day. I'd been trying to pass a kidney stone since the night before. My son is being a heathen. I've spent a lot of the day on the phone fighting with the water company who has been billing me for the apartment next door and vice versa for the better part of a year. So far they want me to take the loss for the six months of paying for a family of 5, (two of which I didn't even live here yet), but they want me to pay the difference for what the new neighbor, (family of one), has paid over on mine. My bill went up $100, plus they want some insane amount on top of that for the last 4 months...by the 20th. We can no longer afford to live, and there is nowhere for us to move. And to ice that cake, the wind blew the back door shut at the precise moment Mike's hand was there. So now there is the possibility that he's broken a finger on his good hand. Great. So when my normally good kidney started acting up, I was not surprised. Now the phone rings and all I can think is, "Whose dead?"
I brace myself and pick up. I am greeted with peals of laughter and tears from my mother. She explains that she had to call me, she was sure I would appreciate this one. Kayellen is the daughter of one of our close family friends, she is also in her terrible twos. The story goes as follows:
Becky was on the phone with her mother when she noticed Kayellen was awfully quiet and she better investigate. There is an "Oh no!" followed by "I'll call you back". Naturally Grandma gets worried and calls back. Apparently little miss monkey climbed to the very top shelf in the bathroom and found her mommy's tan in a can. By the time Becky found her, she was brown from the neck up. Now this is even funnier because she did the same thing with a tube of butt paste 3 days ago. That time my mom was lucky enough to get a picture, which I will share with you, to help you get a visual.
Thanks Mom, I needed that.